Do you ever wonder?

I have had a lot on my mind the past couple of days. I am a thinker. Hold on, let me rephrase that, I am a OVER thinker. A worrier if you must. Do you ever have so many thoughts in your head, you feel like you can't even get them all straight? That's me right now, actually for the past few days. So I'm going to apologize in advance for skipping from place to place. I hope by blogging I can get some things in order.

What is love? To me love is not a feeling or an emotion, but more of a way to have a functional relationship. We all love differently. Which is probably not a bad thing. See I am not a super affectionate person. I can do fine by myself, and I probably enjoy my independence too much. However, some people need a lot of love. Not attention, but love. So when they are not given all they may "need" then they may be left feeling empty so to speak. But they might feel that way because they are giving all they have and feel that someone like myself doesn't give it all back. But when I give my all I do it in different ways. Thank goodness we're all different. The greatest love story ever is John 3:16. The fact the God Almighty loved us so much that he gave us the one thing He loved more than anything. I wish that I could love selflessly. Pretty sure that it will be a life goal of mine.

My job is stressful, super stressful. Monday I worked for four hours, and seriously number one, Mondays are terrible anyways, and it was awful! Working in the ER you see a lot of people who's chief complaint should be "complains too much." Although I'm thankful to have a job, sometimes I wish that I could not have to work, not have to do all these things, but I realize that the fact that I have had a job since 14, it has made me the person I am today, and I am so glad.

I had clinical Tuesday. We recently started our OB/PEDS rotation in nursing school. After enduring those four hours on Monday, let me tell you, it was great to hold and snuggle with some innocent newborns. Although we were told to leave  our judgmental attitudes at the door, it was hard. We all have our own opinions. Where I live, there's a very diverse sense of life. However, I couldn't get a grip on the fact that some mothers were younger than me. I couldn't imagine having a baby at my age. But I just pray that those parents make selfless decisions and choose to make a great life for their little baby.

Holding those babies took me back to holding that little baby in Africa, and falling in love within just a minute. I love babies, I love the innocence they have, their small fingers and little toes, it makes life complete.

My little African Love :)