Monday, August 26, 2013

Help me find it.

I know it's been awhile! Let me fill you in :)

So school has started back. My calendar is in full swing between working every weekend, clinical hours, and classroom time. My social life is back to a minimum. Such an adjustment after a month off of school.

Between all the hustle and bustle of my crazy life I have still been able to balance sushi dates with my best friend, quality time with my grandparents, and the occasion movie on Tuesday night (only because its $5 at the local theater).

I have realized, especially since the beginning of Nursing School and having a Big Girl job, that I sometimes do not really handle stress that well. I am so high strung. However, I do a pretty good job of keeping it together, at school, or work. But as soon as I bust through my back door at home my sweet mother and other close relatives feel the full force of my dismay.

A lot of times I find myself doubting where I am in life. Where am I? Why am I here? What in the world is going on?! I feel like on occasion I finally see God's will for my life, and then it's gone. Like maybe I really didn't find out what it was just caught a glimpse of what I think it may be.


Monday, August 12, 2013

Rocky Soil

I know that it has been a very long time since my last blog post. Strap on your seat belts, because I have a lot of experiences to share. Again, I have been working, and enjoying my time off from school which is quickly drawing to a close.

My cousin, Lauren, which I previously mentioned had her second bridal shower. It was a beautiful sunny day with cupcakes, utensils to fill their new home, and tons of food. I love showers. Baby showers, bridal showers, actually showers, and sometimes rain showers. Lauren had a great day, and I did too. I enjoy our time together, especially when our other family members are there. I can't believe that it's almost time for her to be married. Looking forward to the unity that she and Jonah will cherish.

During this summer, I have been working and just spending time around here. I was looking forward to a beach trip with my best friend, but our plans got cancelled and I was so bummed that I wouldn't get to squish my toes in the sand. Luckily, I got to go with her anyway. I worked all night then slept for a couple hours then ventured to the beach to spend two days with her, her family, and the sandy beach and salt water. I love the beach. The simplicity of it. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore, the solitude it offers at night as you walk by the water guided by the moonlight. Anyway, as usual she and I had a blast together. It brought back many memories of our beach trips we took as young highschoolers. Sadly, our trip ended too fast and we headed back home to our jobs, families, and reality. As I was sitting on the beach and my feet engrossed in the sand, I began to think about how great our God is. That He knows how many grains of sand is on the beach. It was amazing to sit and ponder. I left the beach and then left the next day for a three day mission trip to West Virginia. This was my second time going to WV on a mission trip, last time it was just to a different county. This time, I had NO phone service, and we encountered some of the poorest conditions I have ever in my life seen. I spent three days getting closer to God. Closer to my teammates, about 90% of which I didn't know. It's trips like those that make you bond, in a hurry. It makes you do some serious soul searching. It was a great learning experience and growing opportunity in my relationship with Christ. Its amazing to think that even if it was just ME in the entire world, He would have still died in my place. MY sin held Him on the cross. We can't phantom His love for us, or the plans He has for our lives. Completely in awe of the glory of God. Awesome.

Today, I got off work at 7 am., went to breakfast with some coworkers and drove to school to pay my tuition and register for classes. I stopped at the ATM to withdraw some cash, because my car was telling me that if I didn't stop soon, I would be walking home. So I withdrew $60. Then I thought, it's going to take more than that to fill my below empty tank. So I searched and searched for some extra singles that would make up the difference. I found $4. So I had a total of $64. I drove as fast as possible to the nearest gas station, luckily it was the cheapest, and I pulled up the pump in a rush. I thought sometimes my gas guzzler likes to take almost 70 to fill up. I began to pray, I said, "Lord, please do not let this run over sixty four dollars." Although my prayer or thoughts weren't as sincere as I needed them to be, I got out of the car, pressed UNLEADED and began to refuel. I got busy washing my windshield, staring at the people next to me, contemplating if I wanted a 79 cent cold drink and then my heart sank. I forgot to monitor the ongoing gas pump. Suddenly, I heard the magic click. It stopped. At first I was scared to look, but I gathered up some courage. Gas pump read $63.76. I could have burst into tears. Sure, you can call it luck, or consequence but I knew that it was a sign that God had been faithful to me. God answers prayers, sometimes He doesn't and that's the real answer. He works in mysterious ways, but ALWAYS to our benefit.

My new friend Maggie!

 Carrie and Lashay

 Wilma. The FIRST person I ever led to the Cross.

My wonderful teammates Family

When sharing the gospel, we sometimes encounter people who are not receptive to the good news. It's sometimes hard to leave our own agenda at the door, and trust that all we are called to do is plant the seed. God will take care of the rest. We are sometimes challenged when sharing the word. It's easier to plant a seed in cooperative moist dirt than it is to try to do so in rocky soil, which seems impossible to till. 

1 Corinthians 3:6-8
Matthew 13 1:23