Crickets and Curtains

I hardly ever get a chance to blog two days in a row. I'm so excited!! Today I spent time with one of my very best friends shopping, talking about our problems, confiding in one another, and then of course talking about her upcoming wedding. We talked about the decorations that I wanted to put in my house. The curtains that I want desperately to make out of bed sheets. (I found the idea on Pinterest) I went to church tonight and the preacher called me out of the crowd to get up and sing. So throughout the day I have had some excitement between the clearance sales at the mall and the abrupt change in plans at church. When I came home around 8:00, I walked inside slowly, taking in all the sights up to the back door. The sun hadn't quite set yet, so I got to enjoy the semi-blue sky, freshly cut very green grass, and my puppies running around at my feet. Later when I went to lock the door and shuffle a dog from in to out, I closed the screen door and waited before shutting the back door. I waited, I listened. I heard crickets by the tons. I was amazed at the song that God created right outside my back door. It was awesome to stand and listen. As I set here and type word by word, I can hear those crickets, over the TV, over my fingers quickly taping away, and over my mother practicing her Dobro.

When I stop and think about all of God's creation, it absolutely blows my mind. That he didn't just create one bird to fly. He created tons, all different shapes, sizes, colors. All the different types of trees, flowers, bugs, animals, and people. He took the time to create each and every one. AMAZING.

Sometimes, we think about who we want to be, and who we think we should become, and we don't yield or think about the person that God has commanded us to become.

6 So I ask you to make full use of the gift that God gave you when I placed my hands on you, use it well. 7 God’s Spirit doesn't make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control.8 Don’t be ashamed to speak for our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, just because I am in jail for serving him. Use the power that comes from God and join with me in suffering for telling the good news. God saved us and chose us to be his holy people. We did nothing to deserve this, but God planned it because he is so kind. Even before time began. God planned for Christ Jesus  to show kindness to us. Now Christ Jesus has come to show us the kindness of God. Christ our Savior defeated death and brought us the good news. It shines like a light and offers life that never ends.11 My work is to be a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher.12 That’s why I am suffering now. But I am not ashamed! I know the one I have faith in, and I am sure that he can guard until the last day what he has trusted me with.13 Now follow the example of the correct teaching I gave you, and let the faith and love of Christ Jesus be your model. 14 You have been trusted with a wonderful treasure. Guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit, who lives within you.-2 Timothy 1:6-14

Quesadillas and Frozen Yogurt.

Since it has been a while since my last post I have experienced a few things.

• My cousin, who's like my sister, have her FIRST bridal shower
• Seeing my best friend for the first time in two years
• Realizing parts of myself
• Getting closer to my brother
• Experiencing independence more deeply

Let's start from the beginning. My cousin, Lauren, is about three years older than me. Although growing up we weren't really that close we connected about 5 years ago and have been thick as thieves ever since. It just so happens that she gets to marry her soul mate in just a couple of months. I get the privilege to be apart of her special day and stand in as her Maid of Honor. Saturday was her first bridal and I got to be apart of it. It was awesome to see the support she has for her upcoming nuptials. So happy for her and Jonah as they begin this next chapter in life. 

 My contribution to the food table :)

 Bride to be!

Megan and I met in the third grade. I remember the day we met. Standing in the bathroom, she had a Duke hair bow pinned in her hair. Our friendship continued into high school. Our senior year she decided to graduate early and missed a semester with us, as she moved to New York to be with her family. Little did we know that NY would keep our precious outspoken Megan past graduation. I saw her that summer, and then it became talking when we had the chance, between work and school, and our social lives elsewhere. Skype became a useful tool, and although our Skype dates where few and far between we filled the holes with long phone calls and texts. She came home this week and we all met up at our usual booth at the local Mexican restaurant and enjoyed frozen yogurt afterwards. As Megan came through the door, I held back tears as I hugged her for the first time in two years. I hardly knew it was her from her blonde hair and New York accent she has seemed to pick up. We all just picked up where we left off. Laughing around the table, enjoying company, a little gossip, a lot of laughs, and a lot of sad see-you-laters at the end of the night. It's hard losing someone you have been so close to. Not that we lost her, but had to go without seeing her radiant smile everyday at school. I miss high school sometimes. Not the drama, or the rules, but the fun, the simplicity of it all. It was EASY. I miss seeing my friends everyday, and enjoying that responsibilities were minimal. 

Great night, with great friends!

It seems that when you try to change for the better, life always provides someone to tear down your empire you've struggled to build. I have tried for the past nine months or so to become a better person. To not be so angry at the world, and circumstances. To think before I speak, control my mood swings, and humble my heart. Sometimes we do things, like I have wrangled with in the past few months and it feels like we never get anywhere. We feel defeated, worn down, and like it's all a lost cause. I can't change who I am, but I can change how I react, how I act, what I say, and how I live. Although we have some voices telling us that it can't be done, you will never change, we have some or just as many telling us we can. That's where my brother comes into play. My brother and I seem to have an odd relationship. We go awhile without talking, we aggravated with one another, we pick and choose when we get along. But despite our disagreements, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he will always be in my corner. He told me today as I poured my heart out to him about what I was feeling that you have two choices. You can let people's words empower you, or imprison you. But you decide. I am thankful for my older brother. He has a lot of life experience and although he and I both aren't very tactful at times he knows what to say at the right time when he sees his baby sister hurting. I am also thankful for his wife. I don't know if people would ever have thought that I would say that, but Carrie is such a blessing to me, and she doesn't even know it. I am thankful for the provision they both give, they are my guardian angels on Earth. Not to mention I am blessed to have a beautiful free spirited nephew that they are raising to become a smart and sociable little boy. Blessed to have the family I have, blessed to be where I am today, blessed to know who I am, for now, and who I want to become. 

A little encouragement for ya :)

So until I figure all this out and fully become who I want to be, and who God has intended me to be and who He has chosen for me to be with, I am enjoying my independence. Although hard at times, it gives me more opportunities to have days like today. A day of soul searching, of learning and listening. So until the time comes, I am going to enjoy my time away from school for just a couple more weeks. 

Carolina Friday Nights

I really enjoy summertime. Despite the insane heat we sometimes get around here, and the excessive amount of rain we have received this year, it's fun to let loose and enjoy time with friends. Although I have had to endure a semester of nursing school this summer, and seem to work all the time, I have managed to find ways to "let my hair down" and change out of my brown or black scrubs that I seem to have to wash three times a week.

Usually I spend time with my best friend who lives about ten minutes away, or I spend some quality time, learning and listening, with my grandparents, or I spend a day doing whatever I please. Luckily, I got the opportunity to see Luke Bryan in concert last night. It was a blast!! I saw him last year when he played with Jason Aldean, but I was so happy to get to go again. Country music is big where I come from, and you can tell that it was a hit due to the sold out concert and the packed amphitheater, last night underneath the clear sky that was illuminated by the stage lights.  I went with one of my best friends from high school and then met up with a couple of guys who are like my little brothers. It was great. I love concerts, especially in the summer time. Thank goodness we got to enjoy it without a drop of rain! After 19 days in a row of rain around here, that was a relief. However, we had lawn seats, which are fine, but maybe not so much when you stand the ENTIRE time, with wedge shoes on. Needless to say, today my back hurts, my feet hurt, my head hurts, and I am exhausted. Staying up until 4 am will do that to ya. It's Carolina nights like last night that I live for at my age. Despite the smell of alcohol, cigarette smoke, and other substances at the concert last night and every other drunk person running into you, it makes the $25 ticket worth while. I'm so happy to call myself a person who was born and raised enjoying Friday nights in the Carolina's. It can all be summarized into just a short couple sentences. Where I'm from, it's about Jesus, family, friends who are family, country music, Chevrolet's, and the Tar heels.

Here's some pictures from last night

 My big little brothers

 On our way!

So much fun!!

Find something that you enough as much as I love my Carolina Friday nights!

Have a great weekend!!

Birthdays, Birthdays, Birthdays

This past week has been full of birthdays. I am going to hit the high points of this past week, since my last post.

July 4th: America's birthday!! I am so proud to be an American. I love this country. I am thankful for the men and women who have sacrificed so much so that I can live in freedom everyday. So to all the veterans, those serving now, and those who sign the dotted line to put your lives on the line for us, thank you! The fourth of July is interesting around my neck of the woods. Where I live, we have a parade every year. In my small down right in front of the elementary school. This year marked the 53rd parade. What a tradition it is to come listen to all types of music, mostly bluegrass, see everyone you know, and stand in the heat while you watch all the fire trucks and tractors pass by. My family does concessions every year, so my day consisted of cotton candy and shaved ice, and then a hurricane. A downpour ended our day of sales. Which to me, was not a disappointment. I love my family but I can only stand so much of unorganized, crazy busy business days with them. I concluded my Independence day by watching fireworks in town with my best friend and her crazy family, then riding home down the boulevard in the back of her dad's pickup truck, it's been awhile since I was brave enough to do something like that. Despite my young age, it took me back to Hannah and myself's crazy memories from high school. That girl is for sure my "ride or die" we've been through a lot together, but she's always there for me. We have had some fun times together and I can't wait to see what the future holds for our friendship.

I worked the weekend, and luckily got to go to church on Sunday for the first time in quiet a while.

Yesterday, July 8th, was my sweet pawpaw's birthday. Let me tell you about him. He has been like my father. I love that man more than anyone on the planet. He has been there for me and I have no idea who I would be without him. He has helped mold me into the woman I am today and teach me things about life that I couldn't learn elsewhere. God broke the mold when He made him, for sure.

Today, school was full of teaching projects, most of which were hilarious. With the OB/PEDS semester you can imagine what took place. I'll let you figure that one out :) My group taught swaddling, and our pigs in a blanket were a success for sure, but then again, free food is always a hit.

Anyway, as you can tell my week has been jampacked and still full of excitement. Have a good week!

FINALLY!!

I worked ALL weekend. Today was my last clinical day of the summer semester. Goodness. As much as I love holding babies, swaddling them, and hoping they don't spit up on me I am glad that I am now free on Tuesdays. Temporarily that is. My classmates are somewhat shocked that I have a blog. Although they can't see the expressive, serious side of me often, I hope they sit down and read it. Let me tell you about them, Stacy is the most southern fun loving girl with a humble heart and a killer accent. Shannon, goodness I just love her, we share that same sarcastic sense of humor that few understand, I am glad to have someone that understands me. Daniel, the only guy, is a Newwww Yorrrrkkkker, with a thick Italian background and a love for mozzarella cheese. Allison, is funny, and super smart, and laughs at everything. Chanda, is so hilarious, I love when she's around. Lindsey is funny and apparently brave since she wants to be a psych nurse. Laura is a sweet lady with her babies at home and her love for the babies in the nursery. I think I got everyone? I love those people! I am very lucky that I have become close with some of the best soon to be nurses there is.

Today I spent my last clinical day in the special care nursery. I sat and held a baby for at least an hour and a half. It was immediate the love I had for a child that I had never met before. It's amazing what a little person can do to your heart strings. Sadly, I had to put the child back in the bassinet and walk away. That's what I like right now. Being able to give children back. I certainly want a child someday, but no time soon. I hope that I can be as good a mother that my mom was and is to me. I have really been thinking lately about how much I love my family. Blood is thicker than water, I have heard it all my life. However, sometimes your own blood won't have your back. I am grateful today, for my sweet and beautiful mother, my protective responsible OLDER brother, my witty grandfather, my humble grandmother, my lime-green loving sister in law, my simple life cousin, my preacher uncle, my fun loving nephew, and many others that fill up my continuously growing, crazy, family tree. I am also grateful for my friends, my best friend, who loves every minute of life and lives it to the fullest, my friend who speaks her mind without any reservations, my friend who you sometimes can't read, because even if she doesn't like it she'll do it anyway. My best friend who despite her sailor mouth, speaks the kindest words when needed. They have become my blood. I grew up knowing that it didn't matter who was around the table at supper time they were family, it didn't matter if they needed a place to stay the door was always open.

Anyways, I have been falling behind on my blogging, and for those that enjoy reading it I apologize, and those that don't I'm sorry you don't have good taste haha, just kidding.

For now, I am going to spend some time with my best friend, having a girls night in. Need some girl time to talk and laugh, share secrets and indulge in ice cream. Happy Tuesday!!

Food for thought: Were there bats on the Ark?