Thursday, May 30, 2013

Let me fill you in...

I realize that my blog posts may be a little long. So I do apologize. I just want to share something.

Today, I was reminded yet again that life is so short. So unpredictable. I mean can you imagine being middle age and have everything summed up for you in a few words that tell you that you have a terminal illness. Then you spend your time in the hospital no matter what the reason is. I just can't imagine. I am young, yes, but I really need to learn to appreciate each and everyday.

I don't know about you but my life is changing a whole lot. My life has changed a lot in the past year. It's crazy to think about. However, I'm glad to be where I am. I never thought I would be here, and it has been a challenge, but I sure feel that one day it'll be worth the fight.

Life is precious, our days are numbered for sure. I want to make sure I make them count.


Monday, May 27, 2013

The past few days..

My weekends are usually pretty jam packed with work, or schoolwork or family gatherings. Working in the emergency room it's sometimes hard to feel like you are making a difference. Between the hectic flow, the crowded waiting room, and sometimes an endless to-do list it's hard, if not impossible to love your job. 
It's even harder to come across patients that truly appreciate what your doing for them, for the community. Sometimes a couple 12 hour shifts can really do you in. However, a couple weeks ago I came across a patient and spent about an hour in their room. When I left that night I knew that was my ah-ha moment. I felt for the first time in a long time that what I was doing there was not in vain. 

So yesterday, again, I felt like I made a difference. It wasn't work related but I still felt like that what I did may have made a difference if not then, but eventually. 

Lately I have really been thinking about what I wanna do with my life. Things I want to accomplish. At the age of 19 I went to Africa. I mentioned that in my previously post. Not a day goes by that I don't think about that place. The sand/dirt, the faces of small children and a sweet little baby that took my heart in just a few minutes. It's not about what we do sometimes, but how we do it. How much we put behind it. Put your whole heart into it. Go 110% even if you don't want to. Because to someone you are making a difference. 

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Let's Do This!

Welcome to my blog :)

Please, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lesley. I am a very busy young adult. My full planner includes nursing school, work, and of course my minuscule social life. Before you read anymore let me start out with honesty. I'm probably going to end up being the worst blogger ever. I will forget and not update for months. The point is, though, that I will try to keep you updated on the oh so exciting events in my life and post when I can.

I'm glad I got that off my chest. See, I like to write. Sometimes. As long as it's not papers due in English class. I want to share my story with you, if you will allow me to. Here's the deal; we ALL have a story. Some good, some bad, some happy, some...haha, you thought I was going to say sad, didn't you? Well I'm not Dr. Seuss, so some ugly. How bout that? Anyways, the point is our lives are an ongoing story. Filled with all sorts of chapters. The greatest novel anyone can write is one about themselves. Unless they're terribly boring. My life over the past twenty years has been most comparable to a roller coaster. So hop in, strap on a seat belt and get ready for a ride. Hold on tight, and keep up! By the way, it's not the worst story, and it may not be interesting to you, but it's MINE. My story, my journey, my big puzzle of life, and I'm still searching for the pieces.

At a very young age, I'm talking toddler status, I became the product of a broken home. Let's pause for a moment. Broken. Such a strong word. In a nutshell it means destroyed, tattered, sometimes beyond repair, but my home wasn't irreparable, the lives inside of it were. The roof wasn't leaking, the windows weren't shattered, the floors didn't sink, and the pipes didn't burst. Here's what was broken though. The thought of fidelity, the loyalty was gone, the love was diminished, and the deeds punishable. (Insert trust issues here). So I grew up, a child of divorced parents, of parents who couldn't be in the same room. Then my fairy tale starts. Sure, there were tough times, but Cinderella didn't have it easy, remember? My mother, my sweet mother, married a man who was her one of a kind soul mate. She is one of the lucky people that gets to spend time with someone that God made just for her. Going from a lifestyle where your mom busted her tail to make ends meet as a single parent, to a child with a lavish sense of living is a little bit of a change. Glenn (moms soul mate) was a provider, a lover, a great man of God. My older brother is almost 10 years older than me. So as an adolescent I was like an only child. Which was great, because I got a lot of things I asked for. Yes, I know, another spoiled child. Anyway, God decided that He needed Glenn more than we did. On a March Monday morning Glenn gained entrance into heaven, and our home as never been the same. Sometime went by and mom decided it was time for her to marry again. Although I was against the whole thing. My brother had already introduced another family member (my sister-in-law) Yeah, I was against that one too. However, mom and David have determined that it is better to no longer hold a union of marriage. Oh I left a part out-my junior year of high school my mom, who was running a construction company, had to put our house, my childhood home, up for sale. A piece of me died that day. The day I said farewell to our custom built 5,000 square foot home and said hello to a single wide trailer in the middle of the sun. I'm not saying it's all in what you have. But what an adjustment I had to make. By this time I had started dating someone who I was madly in love with, already. A guy I had known for quite sometime had made his way back into my life, and boy was I glad. Through all this I starting working at a little hole in the wall country store in the heart of my hometown. Unionville Service and Grocery, aka, Jim Baucoms, aka GOSSIP CENTRAL. I learned a lot working there. How to make pizzas, how to deal with customers, how to sell cigarettes to underage-oh wait, I better leave that out. Anyways my life lessons had really started to pile up. So I graduate high school, and start my career as a college student. I got a job in the ER at a local hospital and that always keeps me on my toes. I was the youngest person in my department, probably in the hospital. I got accepted into nursing school, and have made my way thus far with C's :).

I said all that to say this, in the past year I have really wondered who I am as me. Sounds crazy I know. I became so tangled up in my relationship, with previously said boy, and who I needed to become without ever knowing who I was. So I decided to find out. Our relationship ended, and then I really did not have a clue in the world. That brings me to this-I knew Jesus, but I never experienced it for myself. When you have hit rock bottom, we sometimes discover it is because He's the rock at the bottom we need to stand on. I decided to go to Africa. A lot of things took place, some in which I don't care to share. But know this-you have to know who YOU are in CHRIST and what your place is in kingdom of God before you and be anything or anybody to anyone else. You follow me? I wish I would have found that out sooner, but the beauty of it all is that God works things out for our benefit. All the time.

I have titled my blog He Walks With Me. Ever heard the song Sheltered in the Arms of God? Look it up. See, I just brushed over my story, just gave a glimpse. Hope you have enjoyed it and if you read the whole thing, you are for sure my new favorite person. The point is-Through it All, He walked and is still walking with me. I'd rather walk in the dark with Jesus, than without Him in the light.